Pregnancy and the Many “Parts” of You (An IFS Love Letter)
Pregnancy is wild. One minute you’re crying at a commercial about paper towels, the next you’re Googling can I eat six bagels in one sitting while your back feels like it’s been personally betrayed. And if you’ve noticed you feel like different versions of yourself keep showing up lately—congratulations, you’ve just met your parts.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls these little voices or states “parts,” and pregnancy is like turning the volume way up on all of them:
There’s the Anxious Planner part, who has seventeen spreadsheets about strollers and swears the “perfect car seat” exists if she just researches harder.
The Exhausted Sloth part, who whispers, “We are not moving from this couch. Ever.”
The Perfectionist Parent-to-Be part, scrolling Instagram nurseries at midnight and wondering if neutral beige is mandatory.
And let’s not forget the Ragey Mama Bear part, who nearly bites someone’s head off in the grocery line.
Here’s the IFS magic: instead of judging these parts or trying to shut them down, we get curious. Each part actually has a good intention (yes, even the angry one). They’re trying to protect you, prepare you, or keep you safe—even if their methods are a little… extra.
When you pause and say, “Oh hey, I see you, Planner Part. Thanks for working so hard to make sure baby has everything they need”, something softens. You’re no longer battling yourself; you’re leading yourself with compassion.
The benefit? Less inner chaos, more self-understanding. Pregnancy is already a full-body rollercoaster—you don’t need to also feel like you’re fighting with your own brain. IFS gives you space to hear the chorus of parts, thank them for their effort, and gently remind them: “I’ve got this. We’re safe.”
And honestly? That feels like the most empowering baby prep there is—learning to parent yourself with kindness, so you can meet your baby from a place of steadiness, not self-judgment.
